Alfie ♥ John ♥ Lee ♥ Allwood

Alfie John Lee Allwood

Son of Lynn and David Allwood
Little Brother of Joshua and Ryan and now a BIG BROTHER to Zach Alfie Allwood - born 26th September 2008
Grandson of Nanny Marg, Nanny Coll and Grandad Bob
Nephew to Lee and Lydia, Sarah and Colin
Little Cousin to Paul and Reece and Big Cousin to Ollie

Alfie was born on 14th November 2006
Became an angel on 20th April 2007

A poem in memory of our beautiful little man Alfiexxxx

Our Angel

You were our little angel
we loved to hold so close,
the softness of your baby skin
like petals of a rose.

You were our little angel
with sweet angelic charms.
We loved it when we cuddled you
and held you in our arms.

Now all we have are memories
so precious and so few,
for today one year ago
you became God’s angel too.


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"An angel in the book of life
Wrote in my baby's birth
She whispered as she closed the book
To perfect for this earth"

Alfie's Journey

I call our story Alfie's Journey because each day was a new a beautiful adverture with him.

To find out I was expecting Alfie came as a bit of shock, I had been feeling run down and being sick for a few days, but being pregnant was the last thing I though of (I thought I just had a tummy bug - having two kids already, you'd have thought I'd have known better).

My pregnancy with Alfie went badly from the start. At first I was getting a lot of pains and the hospital thought I was either having a miscarriage or that the pregnancy was ectopic. After blood tests to confirm this (and a very anxious wait to see if my pregnancy hormones were rising) it turned out to be ok.

The next few weeks progressed without too much problem. I went for my 12 week scan and everything appeared to be normal.

Then at my 20 week scan, we took Josh and Ryan along so they could meet their new brother or sister for the first time (although they had already said, they didnt want a sister). The scan showed we were having another boy. We were so pleased, Josh and Ryan are lovely boys and we were looking forward to the prospect of having another.

Then at about 26 weeks, I went along to ante-natal and my midwife noticed a problem with the baby's heartbeat. I was sent into hospital for monitoring. The doctors decided that it was just something called an ectopic beat and nothing to worry about, they decided to give me a detailed heart scan to check the babys heart and again decided everything looked normal.

Then things went from bad to worse, I developed a problem with my pelvis, had to have physio and ended up on crutches.

At 36 weeks the doctors decided that I had been through enough and said that if the baby didnt make an appearance in the next couple of weeks they would try to induce me.

I went back to the hospital at 38 weeks where the doctor gave me a sweep to try and start things off. I went home to wait for things to start. That was on the Thursday, nothing happened all over the weekend then on the Monday night I was feeling particulary uncomfortable and went to bed. After being in bed for a short time my waters broke.

David and I went off to the hospital, where the checked me over, they said that yes my waters had gone, but I wasnt having any contractions. Within about two minutes my contractions started. I had an emergency C-Section with Josh and a normal delivery with Ryan, so I was determined to enjoy this labour and was desperate for another normal delivery.

Things were going great, just having gas and air and using a birthing ball. After about 3 hours I decided that I needed a bit more than just a bounce on a ball and asked for a pethidine injection. This is when things changed. I started having contractions that I just couldnt cope with, my body was telling me to push, but the midwife and the doctor said I wasnt ready.

I screamed at the doctor that something felt very wrong and they should get the baby out. She said that they would take me to theatre and check if they could get the baby out with instruments. When they got me into theatre it became apparent that all was not well and they decided to go to a C-Section.

Alfie arrived on Tuesday 14th November, he was so beautiful and looked exactly like his eldest brother Josh.

A couple of minutes after he was born, it became apparent that he was having trouble breathing. The midwife took him away to give him a bit of help. The doctors were sorting me out and I had no reason to suspect there were any more problems.

They moved me to the recovery room and then David came in. I will never forget the look on his face. He said Alfie is beautiful, but he has a lot of problems, a hole in his mouth, some of his fingers and toes are joined, he his having trouble with his breathing and they think there is something wrong with his spine.

Alfie was probably about half an hour old (although I had no clue at this point what time of the day it was or what time Alfie had been born), I hadnt even held him. The midwife told us that Alfie needed to go to the Neo-Natal unit at another hospital. I couldnt go with him as they had no beds. David was torn, but I told him that Alfie needed him more and that he should go with him. I begged the staff to let me have just one cuddle before they went - it was wonderful and I lay there naively thinking that everything was going to be ok, they would fix all of his problems.

Over at the Neo-natal unit, Alfie was put on oxygen, and he had to have an NG Tube for feeding. The doctors asked David hundreds of questions (including are you and Lynn related)!!!

They decided that Alfie had some kind of syndrome, but had no idea what.

I finally got to go over the following afternoon (to be honest I was all set to walk out before then). I have never been so afraid when I saw Alfie in the incubator with the all wires and tubes.

Alfie was able to come off his oxygen later in the evening and we could take him out of the incubator for his first proper cuddle.

The genetic doctor came to see him and we were told that Alfie possibly had either a chromosome disorder or a disorder related to the production of cholesterol in the body. When I came home and read about these problems on the internet my world fell apart, they were all fatal, was I really going to lose my precious baby.

Alfie stayed on the neo-natal unit for two weeks, he did really well, David and I were shown how to tube feed and that meant we could bring him home.

I watched him like a hawk, thinking is today the today I am going to lose him. I found it hard to let myself love him incase he left me.

Alfie's cleft palate nurse, Pat gave me the wake up call I needed and I thank her every day for doing so. She said to me that If I truly believe that Alfie was going to die that I should start enjoying him and making some memories. I am so glad that I listened to her.

Christmas came and so did news that Alfie's tests were all normal, he didnt have these awful things. He was going to be ok!!

Alfie had to have many more tests, the doctors discovered a hole in his heart (how did they miss that on my detailed scan)???

Alfie also came of his tube feeding for four weeks and was totally bottle fed, unfortunately he got a chest infection and the tube had to go back in.

Alfie was a joy, he smiled at four weeks (even though the doctors told us he wouldnt), he loved to be with his brothers and would spend ages just looking at them and laughing at them playing.

He also lived up to his name as he always had the ladies clucking around him!!!

He gave us many scares too, he was in and out of hospital for breathing problems, but always came out ok and lay there in casualty looking at us all as if to say WHAT!!! If we werent back to hosital for that, it was for Alfie's feeding tube to be put back in. He had removing it with his little finger down to an art, and would usually do this at about 3 in the morning and then want a feed!!!

Alfie was booked to have his cleft repair in June 07 and we had decided to organise his Christening for 22nd April. We chose the Godparents and picked out a beautiful outfit for him.

Then things took a turn for the worse, Alfie was being sick a lot and having a lot of dirty nappies, he started to lose a lot of weight and the doctors were worried that he wouldnt be able to have his cleft repair. They put him on some special milk to increase his calorie intake. It seemed to work and he started gaining weight again.

Friday 20th April, started out as such a normal day, but ended as the worst in our lives. I got up, got the kids ready. My health visitor was coming to see us to weigh Alfie. He had put on 12 oz in a week - we were thrilled and my health visitor decided that we would forget the weight issues and start concenctrating on his development, as he was a bit behind where he should have been.

I went off to work in the afternoon and David and Alfie went and did the usual food shop at Tesco.

I had a birthday party to go to after work (the first time I had been out since giving birth). I just remember my mobile ringing at 9:03pm 'David Calling'. He just said I am at the Childrens Hospital with Alfie - I think he has gone. I heard this awful screaming and realised it was me.

Alfie died at 9:20 pm on Friday April 20th 2007. The hospital didnt know why and we had to have a post mortem.

Alfie was 5 months old when he died. It was caused by silent milk aspiration, which means that he refluxed and the milk went into his lungs. He had been fast asleep in his chair at home and David had gone to wake him up as he had slumped to one side.

The paramedics and hospital staff were fantastic and I know that they fought to save my baby and for that I thank them with all my heart.

It turned out that Alfie did have a chromosome disorder, but it was in what the doctors called 'Mosaic Form', which is probably why he survived for as long as he did. He post mortem revealved many many more problems.

Alfie was a wonderful little boy, who bought so much joy and love to so many people. My arms feel so empty since he has gone and I miss him so much. Reading other stories on Gone Too Soon has really been a source of comfort to me and I would thank those of you who have lit candles and left messages - they really do help. Reading the stories of other angels that have been taken much too soon has given me the strength to write Alfie's story. Thank you for letting me share his story with you xxx

To Alfie,

To the world you are someone....
To someone you are the world


This is the poem that we had read out at Alfie's funeral.

\\\"OUR ALFIE\\\"

PRECIOUS, TINY, LITTLE LAMB
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE TO ME
SO PERFECT, PURE AND INNOCENT
JUST AS YOU WERE MEANT TO BE

WE DREAMED OF YOU AND OF YOUR LIFE
AND ALL THAT IT WOULD BE
WE WAITED AND LONGED FOR YOU TO COME
AND JOIN OUR FAMILY

WE HARDLY HAD THE CHANCE TO PLAY
TO LAUGH, TO ROCK, TO WIGGLE
WE LONG TO HOLD YOU,TOUCH YOU NOW
AND LISTEN TO YOUR GIGGLE

I WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR MOM
HE WILL ALWAYS BE YOUR DAD
YOU WILL ALWAYS BE OUR ALFIE
OUR BEAUTIFUL LITTLE LAD

NOW YOU\\\'RE GONE, BUT YET YOU\\\'RE HERE
WE SENSE YOU EVERYWHERE
YOU ARE OUR SORROW AND OUR JOY
THERE IS LOVE IN EVERY TEAR

JUST KNOW OUR LOVE GOES DEEP AND STRONG
WE\\\'LL FORGET YOU NEVER
THE SON WE HAD, BUT NEVER HAD
AND YET WILL HAVE FOREVER